What happened to you?

     I have finally made it back to my house after almost a full week in the hospital.  I never thought I was going to get better and that was a very defeating feeling.  I am a rather strong willed person and I faced many doubts this past week and a half.  I certainly scared myself!

     I guess you are wondering what happened to put me in such a state?  As of right now the doctors believe I have inflammatory bowel disease, ulcerative colitis.  We can not rule out Crohn's Disease just yet because my bowels were so inflamed he could only see 3 feet of them.  He must see the whole colon to be certain but he is really leaning on the colitis diagnosis. 

     I was pretty beaten and bruised at the hospital too.  Being dehydrated and anemic...well giving blood was a challenge to say the least...



     I am still under a daze to figure out how this happened.  No research has really figured out how one gets ulcerative colitis.  What is it?  It's a chronic disease of the large intestine.  It's my body's abnormal way of protecting itself because it believes the food, bacteria or anything else that is in my intestines is an invading substance.  All my white blood cells come in to fight and inflame the bowel causing many ulcers.  These ulcers can bleed and cause even more complications. 

     In my case that is what happened.  I had gotten so inflamed that I was losing blood like crazy.  Even though I received 2 transfusions it was like I had never received any blood.  Luckily during the colonoscopy and endoscopy the doctor was able to cut off a large gastric ulcer and that allowed me to not bleed as much.  It gave my body the opportunity to accept another transfusion and to finally keep the blood.  I was very scared as I said.  I seriously did not see a light at the end of the tunnel. 

     I am baffled on how to move forward some days but I am making do.  It's only been a few days but for one who doesn't even take a multivitamin, this amount of pills every day is just overwhelming to me...

 

      ...to some it may not be a lot, to me it is too much!  I know that in a month this amount will go WAY down and that I am happy about.  For now I just bare it and continue to take the medicine to help the inflammation go down.  Once the inflammation goes down then I am pretty much a normal person again.

 

     I try not to research and think about "What if the inflammation doesn't subside?"  That research scares me.  I keep myself occupied with journaling.  I journal it all!  What I eat, how I feel, how the food makes me feel, etc.  It's pretty extensive and takes time but in the long run I believe that my GI doctor and I can really figure out what I will be able to eat and not eat.  I'm also hoping we can figure out how to control it.

 

     I plan on still doing all the things I have done before.  I miss my work right now.  I really do love being a mail lady and the opportunity it gives me for exercise and getting outside.  I'm just too weak right now and I feel I am letting down my co-workers.  I'm sure they understand but I still feel this way. 

 

     I still plan on running too.  Oh yeah, you heard me right!  I may be behind this month on miles but I'm going to come up strong later on, just you wait.  Right now just walking around the house can get me winded.  Sad right?  I'm sure the more blood I produce the more oxygen I'll get to those muscles and not get so winded.  

 

     So I'll keep y'all abreast of the going on's in my life and how this new journey will turn out.  I'm a pretty strong old bird and I think it will just keep me going up, up, up!